GOING WITH THE FLOW!

I am a strong swimmer. I have always been. Near where I live there is a rip in the ocean which takes you out to sea but brings you back to another beach, and the locals call it an 'express lane'. From above you can see how it gently takes a person around the rocks out a little and then back again to shore. 

People who don't know this rip, or this beach, and get caught up in it, struggle to swim against it and often drown. Those who allow it to take them out and back to the beach survive. Occasionally there are the clever ones who can swim across the rip to get out of the flow, but people rarely see that it is really just a narrow band of water that pulls one out to sea for a little while and then returns them to the shore again. They are not conscious of the big picture.

Life is like that in a way and writing for me is always like this; like trying to survive in a rip. It is not always a fun process, particularly when one is sensitive to the requirements of the spiritual world. 

I set my deadlines, I think I am writing the book I think I'm writing, the water is fine and it is a beautiful day and then I find myself being taken out to sea!

How did that happen? Who created that rip? How will I get out? That was not the plan! Ah but this is the point exactly: There is a plan!

The rip one could say, is the flow of inspiration - the flow of life, and it is created in my sleep in consultation with my angel every night. In the day I may resist it because I forget that it exists. I get caught up in what fun I'm having and suddenly realise I'm being taken out to sea! At this point I think can get out by swimming against it. But I tire myself out - I am resisting myself! I feel sorry for myself, my limbs grown tired. Meanwhile the shore is further and further away and the feeling of being out of control, causes panic and despair to rise up - will I ever find the shore again or will I
drown?

Yes, my heart sinks when I hear those helicopters which fly over our town looking for those who have been caught in the rip and have felt powerless against the force of it.

If I am wise I do a retrospect of the past books, as I have just shared with you. It always brings me to something that I have forgotten: I know this rip. I have been here before, and I can do three things: I can drown by continuing to swim against the flow of inspiration - which means I will burn myself out and the book too; I can be 'clever' and swim across the rip and get out of the flow of inspiration altogether which means the book will not be what it was destined to be; or I can allow the flow to take me out to sea knowing it will bring me back to shore at some exact right point. 

I have freedom. 

Now there may be a handsome life saver coming out to save me and I think this happens all the time, but I refuse to listen - 'I'm alright mate!' I call out, 'I know what I'm doing!'

Do I?

This is the agony I go through with every book in one way or another, the agony of forgetting my past books and the agony of remembering that I can create new ones! 

In the end, the more I trust in the big picture, the more of the book I remember and the closer it will be to the truth I created with my angel. 

Now my angel has to trust also. My angel has to trust that sometimes the 'truth' of the spirit can only find its way to human hearts through a human voice and this is not always what the angel can foresee! 

I trust that my angel knows what I should be doing.
My angel trusts that I know what I should be doing.

Oh dear. smile emoticon